It's Okay to be

Find Out How "Healthy Selfishness" Will Help YOU and Your Loved Ones


Cool And Calm Parenting

A place for all parents who might not have all the answers.


Brian and Griffin Jaccoma


This is a place for new parents, parents of teens, and parents of “special needs” children, and we believe all children are “special needs” children. Parenting is an art, not a science.

There are answers here and support. We are you. We understand. Please join with us.

Find other parents with similar issues. Find answers to “how do I?” and “why does he…?” Find strength and support. AND LAUGHTER.

It takes happy parents to raise happy kids


Children should come with instructions.

Funny but true story: when my first child was born, I was very young, the first of my friends to have a child. He was a beautiful baby. The pediatrician came to the hospital and checked him out. He said: he’s fine. Nice, big boy. I’ll see you in a month.

I was shocked…a month? I thought he’d say, “See you Tuesday.” How could he entrust this adorable little baby to a girl not more than a child, herself. What if I dropped him? AND THE SCARIEST THING FOR ME: If I was going to nurse him, how would I know if he had enough milk. With a bottle, you can see how much he’d had. But I would have no idea if I were nursing him, if he took in enough milk. The doctor assured me that it was easy – wet diapers, means he’s drinking!

I can laugh now, but I really was scared. The good thing for me, though, was that mothering came fairly easily to me. I’m an easy- going person to begin with, so I learned to “pick my fights.” Why not allow soup for breakfast or a green blouse with an orange skirt to attend kindergarten. I had to get my ego out of the way. (Most of her friends thought it was very cool.)

On the other hand, when I would see a father begging a screaming child, throwing a temper tantrum on aisle four at Publix because he would not buy Captain Crunch…”Please Precious, let’s get up now. I don’t want to buy you that cereal, because it is not very healthy. We can go to Burger King though. Would you like to go to Burger King?” And when he bends over to smooth her hair, she kicks him. She’s maybe three years old and he is already afraid of her. I want to say, “Sir, just pick her up and take her home. Why do you think she deserves a treat for that behavior?

What I’m saying is: Common Sense, Firmness (you are the adult), but coupled with humor. If you don’t have humor, it will be a very long road indeed.

calm and cool parenting

Photo Credit: Mother and Child
(detail from The Three Ages of Woman)
c.1905 by Gustav Klimt

If you think you are the only parent whose sweet child disappears and is replaced by an angry stranger when she turns twelve, you are not. If you think you are the only parent raising a “special needs” child, you certainly are not.

So: come for advice. Come to ask questions. Come to join with other parents who are also confused, worried and frustrated. Let’s learn together. Let’s share joy and triumphs together. Remember that as rough as parenting is, it is also life’s greatest gift. Nothing, really, truly NOTHING will ever be as powerful or as rewarding (yes, truly it will be) as being a parent.

Look at the calendar for special events, groups and workshops.

Welcome to the world of Cool and Calm Parenting

(We also have a page for teens and tweens. Our teen page is

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